He is definitely inspirational, and thankfully he is not alone. Many people with physical disabil- ities have great sex. Coming Home, a 1978   movie (now out on DVD) about a soldier who returns from Vietnam in a wheelchair, offers a moving example of how sexual and sexy the relationship of a disabled man and a healthy woman can be. A disability doesnt have to put an end to a couples sex life, although it will almost definitely mean that they will have to put more effort into seeing that the fires do keep burning brightly.         If the healthy spouse of a disabled person who refused to engage in any sex came to me, I wouldnt necessarily advise that person to stay in such a mar- riage. I may feel bad saying it, but I just might have to say that the healthy person has to think of themselves too.   You should also remember that, besides sex, many other things form the glue that keeps a loving partnership together. You have to tell your partner how much you love him; you have to thank her for putting in the extra effort that your disability may cause; in short, you must nurture your entire relationship if you are going to have a successful marriage.   If you and your partner face a disability, I cant recommend too strongly that you speak to your doctor about sexual functioning. These days, medical help is available. For a man who cant have an erection, Viagra (sildenafil), penile implants, or Caverject (alprostadil) injections may be effective (see Chapter 20). In the case of spinal injuries, the man may not feel an orgasm the same way he used to, but he may be able to have an erection, ejaculate, and feel pleasure from the experience. If your doctor doesnt have the information you require on this subject, be advised that facilities exist that have helped disabled men with their sexual functioning, and make an effort to contact the one nearest you.   I also recommend that you see a sex therapist or marriage counselor - in particular, one who has experience working with disability issues (see Appendix A). Both you and your partner may have worries and fears that play a role in your sexual functioning - maybe even a bigger role than the actual disability. You both need to talk these problems out, and rarely can a couple accomplish this communication without professional help. The same is true of strains other than sexual ones, which can tear at your